Helping a Loved One Through Relapse

Experiencing relapse through any stage of recovery is difficult. Not only can those who relapse be met with a wave of guilt, shame, and other challenges but the families and supports of those in recovery may also be unsure what to do or how to help. Supporting alumni who have graduated from Hawaii Island Recovery’s Big Island substance abuse center through a relapse is difficult, and there are many factors involved in helping alumni regain their sober footing and continue on their healing journey. Family members, friends, and supports all play an important role in helping a loved one through relapse and furthering each person’s sober transformation. 

Relapse is always an unfortunate possibility. While nobody who pursues sobriety plans to relapse, it is important to prepare for it. Addressing relapse is also complicated, with many different factors involved such as social and societal influences, stress, anxiety, depression, and more all affecting a person’s attitudes towards re-engaging with drugs or alcohol. 

This is especially true among alumni who are just beginning to navigate professional and workplace stresses in sobriety. Experiencing an urge or craving, or even romanticizing about past use, are common challenges that may continue into sober life. However, if an individual or loved one begins to act on these stresses rather than challenge them, relapse can occur, necessitating an educated approach to refocus on sobriety and develop a healthy lifestyle. 

Having a loved one going through relapse is challenging, and knowing where to start is crucial. As supports, family members, friends, and sober peers, it is important to have a plan in the case that relapse does occur in a loved one. It is common not to want to think of such a possibility, but acting quickly can ensure the health and safety of those navigating their sober lives and prevent further use of drugs or alcohol from negatively affecting the physical, mental, and emotional well-being of a loved one overcoming addiction. 

While some strategies may differ depending on each person’s relationship with their sober loved one, there are some important strategies to keep in mind to support a loved one going through relapse. 

Finding out that a loved one is reengaging with drugs or alcohol can be met with a deluge of emotions, from guilt and shame to anger, resentment, and frustration. All of this is completely normal. However, an individual will have to challenge this emotionally charged mindset to refocus on change and sobriety. Taking a breath, stepping back, and staying calm before confronting or addressing substance use is paramount to approach the situation fairly and with a cool head to maintain a healthy plan of action. 

While feelings of blame are common, it is also common to blame oneself. Ridding oneself of these ideas is paramount before confronting a loved one. A relapse doesn’t occur out of malice, and getting rid of thoughts like, “How could you do this to me?” or personal blame is necessary for effective communication and trust. 

A loved one going through a relapse does not mean that their recovery has failed or that they are “beyond sobriety.” Rather, it means that there may be additional challenges to address, or new situations that may be affecting a loved one’s mental health, emotional health, or ability to access and actively employ proven coping strategies. 

Keeping a calm and open line of communication can empower each person to help their loved one explore not just how they feel through a relapse but also the factors surrounding the decision to reengage with drugs or alcohol. The time of day, stresses present, changes in daily life or schedule, people present, and more are all important pieces of information that can help those in recovery and their supports better understand the situation and inform further action. 

Encouraging a loved one to pursue treatment following a relapse is necessary. However, the form of treatment will vary from person to person. Some may need to return to a residential treatment program like those at Hawaii Island Recovery to explore their relapse in a safe and recovery-focused environment and best focus on their needs and goals. However, others may instead need to engage in outpatient treatment more frequently. Providing support and understanding, or even transportation, to these programs can be an important form of support to refocus on sobriety and change. 

Relapses are intense, and it is normal to want to do anything and everything to help a loved one through such challenges. However, caring for oneself first is necessary to have the energy and resilience to continue effectively supporting loved ones in recovery. Engaging in effective self-care, attending personal therapy and treatment, continuing to engage in hobbies, and more are all necessary to maintain a healthy mindset and promote accountability and a healthy approach to overcoming the challenges of the recovery process. 

Relapse is difficult to address, and being able to address any engagement with drugs or alcohol again after treatment effectively is paramount. At Hawaii Island Recovery, we are committed to sustainable change, from your first step into our medical detox program through residential and continued outpatient support. We understand that recovery and sobriety are ongoing journeys, and we are prepared to help you navigate relapse, the stresses and challenges therein, and empower you to regain your sober focus while developing new strategies. Our big island substance abuse center is always available to meet you where you are in your recovery journey, including providing continued emotional support as an alumnus. For more information, call us today at (866) 390-5070.