Hawaii Island Recovery 
Acknowledging the work of the armed forces and the sacrifices they make to provide for their country and communities is important. Recognizing how much military personnel give in the line of duty can be an important context for appreciating their service while on active duty and as a veteran. Armed Forces Day is a holiday meant to celebrate the efforts of military personnel and express gratitude for their bravery, selflessness, and sacrifice. However, while finding a way to celebrate the armed forces is important, this day can also be challenging for many veterans. Understanding the challenges that current and past service members face is part of planning to celebrate with a veteran loved one this Armed Forces Day.
What Is Armed Forces Day?
Armed Forces Day is a holiday recognized on the third Saturday of each May, with this year’s date falling on May 17, 2025. Where Memorial Day is a time to remember those lost in the line of duty and Veterans Day is a recognition of those who have been in service of their country in past deployments, Armed Forces Day celebrates those actively serving in the military today. However, many veterans are still often included in these celebrations, with veterans still being active members of the military community, even when not on active duty.
For many military personnel, holding on to their military rank, service, and identity is important, whether they are on or off duty. Taking time to thank our military, both those on active duty this Armed Forces Day or celebrating with a veteran loved one, can be a part of these important celebrations.
Armed Forces Day is also meant to be an inclusive day to celebrate all branches of the military, promoting unity across all service members. Whether a loved one served in the Army, Navy, Marine Corps, or Air Force, or if they were in combat roles or not, all branches and roles are crucial for an effective military and should be recognized for their efforts and sacrifice in answering the call of duty, providing their unique skills and services to the country.
The Challenges of Celebrating Armed Forces Day With a Veteran or Active Loved One
While Armed Forces Day is a time of thanks and appreciation, not all active military personnel or veterans will necessarily approach the day in the same way. Rather, many people may be living with trauma, stress, guilt, and a myriad of other challenges intimately tied to their time in the military, making celebrating their work and sacrifice difficult. Understanding the reasons why celebrating with a veteran loved one or active service member may be difficult is crucial to creating a plan that effectively expresses thanks while being cognizant of their needs.
The Continued Journey of Overcoming Trauma
Trauma and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) are common experiences for those who are living or who have lived through active war zones and life-threatening situations common in military life. Having experienced the loss of brothers and sisters in arms, physical injury in the line of duty, and even feelings of guilt that come with military conflict isn’t something that stays relegated to a battlefield. Military personnel face these challenges every day before returning to active duty or while navigating daily civilian life.
These experiences can make it difficult to celebrate military life as they are so intimately tied to feelings of loss. It is also possible for active service members or veterans to hold a conflicting sense of both pride and trauma related to their time on active duty, making approaching Armed Forces Day with intention and care necessary with a veteran or active loved one.
Reminders of Isolation
Military culture is vastly different than civilian life. The unique experiences and on-base cultures can make it difficult for military personnel to connect with peers who have not lived through this kind of military culture. Constantly moving to new places and bases can also make establishing meaningful relationships challenging. These challenges can lead to intense feelings of isolation from peers. While expressing appreciation for the service of military personnel is important, it can also be a reminder of the vastly different lives and experiences they have led compared to their civilian peers, reinforcing feelings of isolation or otherwise “othering” military personnel at home, even when done with good intentions.
Economic or Professional Hardship
Military service members and veterans also face a myriad of challenges on the homefront despite their unyielding service to their country and community. Economic hardships and financial strain or managing a new professional career after military service can be difficult. Armed Forces Day can also be a reminder of these challenges, and to some, can make the day feel performative by thanking them for their service and sacrifice but not providing other resources needed, like a job following their service.
Navigating Negative Military Experiences With a Veteran
While many people take pride in their military career and life, not all service members or veterans will necessarily share this sentiment. Some may have had largely negative experiences throughout their military career for various reasons. Political or social views of a conflict can accentuate feelings of guilt or uncertainty about military life or goals. Others may have had traumatic experiences on base in military life through hazing, discrimination, or military sexual trauma (MST), each of which can profoundly shape a person’s view of military life and have lasting, lifelong consequences on a person’s mental and emotional health.
Celebrating military life and a person’s service, either with an active military service member or with a veteran, can attempt to romanticize these experiences. While showing appreciation and thanks for their work and sacrifice is crucial, avoiding acknowledging the challenges of military service members can make it difficult to have an honest discussion about these needs and goals.
Having a Plan This Armed Forces Day With a Veteran or Active Service Member
There is no “one way” to celebrate Armed Forces Day. While there can be challenges to acknowledging the day with a veteran or active service member, ignoring the day can also lead to negative consequences. Rather, having a plan to approach the day honestly can ensure that military personnel feel honored, seen, and respected while opening an important dialogue about their needs and goals.
Acknowledge the Day
Honoring the military and those who have given themselves to military service is not something that can be done in a single day, but using Armed Forces Day as a reminder to honor those who give their all in the line of duty and to their communities, country, and family can start a conversation and expression of thanks for this service.
Acknowledging Armed Forces Day doesn’t have to be anything grandiose. Rather, taking a moment to sit with a veteran loved one or active service member and genuinely acknowledge their personal sacrifice can be all it takes to help military personnel feel appreciated for their efforts.
Ask Questions
It can be impossible to understand exactly what military life or an active warzone is like without having lived through these experiences oneself. The challenges that military personnel face, from transition stress to trauma and more, are all unique. Rather than avoiding these challenges, if a loved one is open to talking about it, asking questions can help active service members and veterans feel more supported on this day and begin creating a plan to continue providing support and understanding throughout the year.
Listening to stories from a person’s time in the military can also be a great way to let veterans and service members speak about their experiences. This can help family members and communities not just express blanket thanks for their service but instead show appreciation for specific actions, making this day more personal. Knowing the battles fought, or honoring lost brothers and sisters in arms and the cost of conflict, can all contextualize these experiences and turn Armed Forces Day into something more personal and impactful.
Resist Making Assumptions
Armed Forces Day is a time to celebrate those who have put it all on the line for their country and family. However, while many military personnel can have a positive experience in the military, developing lifelong friendships and camaraderie during their time in service and beyond, others may not have such positive experiences, with even more feeling a combination of the two, often leaving them conflicted.
This Armed Forces Day, it is important not to make assumptions about potential experiences or feelings with a veteran or active military loved one. For some, their life in the armed forces may truly be wholly positive, bringing new experiences, community, and a sense of pride in their identity and time as a service member. Others may be struggling with any number of challenges from their time on active duty. Avoiding making assumptions, either assuming that a person’s experience was wholly positive or wholly negative, can create a healthier and more honest approach to celebrating their service to their country while acknowledging the personal toll that this duty took on their physical, mental, or emotional health.
Attend Events With a Veteran or Loved One
Some communities may put on local events to celebrate military personnel. Attending these events, especially with a veteran or loved one, can be a great way of exploring the military community and voicing support. Seeing a community come out in support of their bravery can reinforce the positive aspects of military life, serving not just as a motivation for a person’s call of duty, but also as remembering the communities that support them as well, creating a positive approach that blends civilian and military life into a moment of appreciation.
Parades, luncheons, and other gatherings may be available this Armed Forces Day. Looking into local options or contacting a local branch of the VA can help direct family members to potential events to support the armed forces.
Donate to Military Charities
Military life takes a physical and emotional toll, and there are many ways of giving back to veterans and active service members alike. However, it can also be difficult to know where to start. Military charities like the Wounded Warrior Project, Homes for Our Troops, and K9s for Warriors are great organizations that serve veterans and the more difficult challenges they face following their time in the military. Making a donation, or taking time to share these charities and their missions with others or on social media can be a great way of enacting effective support for military personnel, and giving back to those who have already given so much in the line of duty.
Visit Military and Veteran Businesses
There are many ways to celebrate Armed Forces Day, and providing support takes many forms. For some, expressing gratitude, honesty, and sympathy can be a great way of acknowledging and thanking military personnel. However, others may choose to support veterans by being patrons of their businesses, and financially supporting veterans and their livelihoods after service. Considering veteran-owned or employed services, outlets, or food places can be a great way of supporting veterans this Armed Forces Day, as well as their families and loved ones.
While some people or communities may want to make a community-wide gesture to thank military service members for their commitment to their safety and freedoms, others may want to take a moment to sit down with a veteran loved one in a more intimate setting to express gratitude and care. Creating a safe space for members of any branch of the military to both express personal needs and celebrate their accomplishments and experiences in the military in equal measure is paramount.
Providing Continued Support
Armed Forces Day is a time to champion the accomplishments and bravery of our men and women who keep our country safe, embodying the strength and essence of freedom that defines the morals and culture of the country. However, maintaining this image and answering the call is something done not of glory, but of sacrifice, and many military personnel may need continued support beyond a single day of the year. Overcoming the unique challenges of service members, through PTSD, addiction, depression, suicidal ideation, and much more, is a complex challenge, and providing support may also mean looking into dedicated treatment options with a veteran or loved one.
Destigmatize Treatment
Many military personnel find it difficult to reach out for help regarding physical, mental, or emotional needs following their time in service. The ability to put on a stalwart face is celebrated in military culture. However, destigmatizing treatment and acknowledging the prevalence of these challenges across the military community is a great way to create a more honest space, empowering veterans and service members who may feel these challenges a chance to express these needs without judgment or fear of ridicule or social rejection.
Likewise, familiarizing oneself with treatment facilities and programs can also be a way to support veterans and military personnel in pursuing treatment and education for their own healing. Destigmatizing treatment and words like “trauma” and “addiction” can go a long way in empowering active and former service members to consider personal needs and healing opportunities for the challenges they face. Offering support, transportation, doing research, or providing other forms of aid to pursue treatment as necessary can also be a great way of helping military loved ones year-round.
Healing at Hawaii Island Recovery
The men and women of the armed forces protect the country and their communities and families year-round. Hawaii Island Recovery houses a dedicated veteran recovery program and community to address these needs at any time of year, whether a person is taking their first tentative step into treatment for mental health disorders, trauma, PTSD, addiction, or a combination of these challenges, or is looking to further engage in military culture and life while providing support for others, coming together in solidarity for healing and healthy daily life.
This dedicated veteran programming, backed by evidence-based treatment, experiential therapies, and trauma-informed specialists, all work together for holistic healing, learning to celebrate accomplishments while addressing these complex challenges. Each of these treatment programs is also personalized to help members of the armed forces transition to civilian life, address substance use, navigate trauma and flashbacks, and learn important life skills to establish a healthy and fulfilling life after military service.
Armed Forces Day can mean so many different things to different people and families. Hawaii Island Recovery celebrates the bravery of these men and women while acknowledging the challenges they face, taking action, and curating a community of support and healing to support genuine, sustainable change.
Celebrating Armed Forces Day can be a great opportunity to express gratitude and respect for the men and women of the military who work each day to keep their country and community safe. However, it can also be a nuanced, even challenging day for many veterans overcoming trauma, addiction, and other forms of stress. At Hawaii Island Recovery, we champion the opportunity to give back to military personnel, providing care, trauma-informed support, and addiction recovery programs geared specifically toward the challenges that military men and women face every day. Our dedicated programs can help meet you where you are in your healing, helping veterans take their first step toward healing. For more information, call (866) 390-5070.
