Rebuilding Trust With Your Spouse in Sobriety

Addiction and substance use disorder (SUD) has many lasting effects on a person’s life. While there are surely emotional and physical ramifications of a person’s use of drugs and alcohol, addiction can also do intense damage to a person’s professional career and personal relationships. Spouses are among those most profoundly affected by addiction, with compromised trust being common as a result of addictive substances. Even after navigating professional treatment and ceasing the use of these destructive substances, families and spouses can still harbor difficult feelings, lack of trust, trauma, or resentment. Rebuilding trust in recovery can be difficult. However, it is always possible. 

Trust is integral to any healthy relationship. However, it can also be one of the first things compromised when under the influence of addictive substances. Those with addiction can be greatly influenced by the disease, and lying can become all too common to protect one’s use of drugs or alcohol. An individual may lie about how much or how often they engage with these substances or even hide the substances throughout the house. 

Addiction can also compromise budgets or a person’s ability to tend to responsibilities and obligations, which can greatly impact a spouse’s trust in their ability to tend to these responsibilities. All of these challenges, coupled with the other impacts of addiction like mood swings, the potential loss of a job, and more can all combine to create a very difficult situation to overcome. Spouses often experience the brunt of these consequences. Even after creating an effective plan to cease the use of drugs and alcohol, rebuilding trust and overcoming the consequences of past behaviors can still take time and effort. 

There is nothing easy about confronting the mistakes made while under the influence of addiction and addictive substances. As those in recovery are tasked with trying to overcome these challenges, there are various strategies that can be utilized to begin the process of rebuilding trust with a spouse. 

Talking about the mistakes and consequences of a person’s use of addictive substances is incredibly difficult. It is common to want to avoid addressing the various ways in which a person has negatively impacted their spouse. However, being ready to confront how spouses were affected by their use of drugs or alcohol is paramount. Not only is this necessary to reach a degree of understanding on where to begin the healing process in the relationship, but it also helps spouses feel heard and understood in their plights. 

There is no effective way to address the deterioration of trust with a spouse without having an honest and open conversation regarding how they were impacted by the use of drugs and alcohol in the first place. Despite how difficult it may be to hear about the impact of a person’s actions, opening this conversation in sobriety is the first major step towards taking action to heal trust in a relationship. 

While those in recovery may be ready to rebuild this trust and move forward, healing from deteriorated trust takes time. From harboring traumatic and painful memories to the continued consequences of a person’s use of addictive substances, healing from addiction takes time for all involved. Expecting trust to rebuild because an individual themselves is prepared to take the next step in their relationship can actually have the opposite effect. Being willing to wait for spouses while continuing to work on personal goals is paramount, without rushing a spouse into feeling as if trust is something that they somehow “owe.”

Rebuilding trust takes constant effort, and while a single moment or action can introduce the idea of being ready to receive trust again, that doesn’t mean that an individual’s journey with this part of recovery is over. Rather, it is paramount for each person to continue showcasing how they have changed, reinforcing their sober goals and dedication to a transformed future. For some, this can mean continuing to pursue personal sober goals, such as maintaining steady employment and sobriety. Others may accomplish this through continued engagement in dedicated outpatient treatment programs and community programs. 

Constantly exploring new outlets, furthering sober goals, developing new therapies and strategies, and making constant adjustments to prioritize continued sober growth are all paramount to rebuilding trust. Focusing on these elements can empower those in recovery to focus on their own goals while rebuilding trust with their spouse. 

Therapy can be instrumental in navigating the effects of addiction on trust and other aspects of these key relationships, including individual, family, and couples therapy. There is nothing easy about overcoming addiction for any involved. Thus, dedicated programs to address these difficult emotions and histories may be necessary to establish healthy communication skills and navigate these challenges in a safe and understanding environment. Professional guidance and a space to safely explore the ramifications of use without blame is can be necessary for understanding and developing effective strategies to rebuild trust. Our treatment programs in Hawaii can help individuals take this first step today.

Rebuilding trust with your spouse is a difficult and necessary part of overcoming addiction, and we at Hawaii Island Recovery are committed to helping you through your entire recovery journey. We understand not only how drugs and alcohol affect an individual, but also how their use impacts entire families and relationships. Our effective treatment programs in Hawaii are designed to not only help you set your own goals throughout recovery but also instill the necessary skills, healing, and guidance necessary to begin repairing trust in these important relationships. From personal growth to familial healing and spiritual support, we can help you today. For more information on how we can personalize your time with us, call us today at (866) 390-5070.