What Are the Signs of a Codependent Relationship?

Relationships of all kinds are complicated. Each one comes with its nuance. No two relationships will be identical, with unique cultures developing between people across a variety of scenarios and communities. Although many relationships can positively impact both parties, codependent relationships can assume the guise of a positive relationship while doing damage to both people’s mental and emotional health. Identifying the signs of a codependent relationship in each person’s life can empower each person to pursue effective treatment at Hawaii Island Recovery and better understand the lasting effects that codependent relationships can have. 

A codependent relationship is often defined as two people, one with an abundance of needs and the other with a “need to be needed.” These two people are not just connected, but often reliant on each other, though for different reasons. Excessive caretaking, tending to every need, or having one’s needs fully and frequently tended to are common in codependent relationships. While it is normal to want to support others in important relationships, these kinds of relations often take this idea to the extreme, compromising other parts of a person’s life or shielding a person from consequences and enabling further destructive behaviors. 

A codependent relationship can cause one or both people to compromise their identity, interests, or needs to maintain the relationship, despite the personal and emotional costs of doing so. While these relationships are often romantic, codependency can develop in many other relationships as well. It can also develop between friends or between family members. Effectively identifying when these relationships show signs of codependency can empower both people to better care for their own needs and goals. 

While some signs of a codependent relationship can be easy to identify, other signs can often go overlooked, and not all people may be aware that their relationships are developing codependent tendencies. Talking with professionals about the signs and symptoms of a codependent relationship, or listening to other friends and family members for an external perspective of the relationship, can empower each person to determine if a codependent relationship is affecting their life.

Codependent relationships are most commonly defined by the lack of tending to a person’s self. With some, this can be an inability to tend to personal challenges by themselves, overcome obstacles, or face the consequences of their actions. For others, this takes the form of giving up personal needs or goals to tend to the needs of another. 

Either way, it can become increasingly difficult to see oneself outside of the context of the relationship. Not only can this then cause both people to define themselves by the relationship rather than their person but it can also compromise personal interests, hobbies, self-care outlets, and other aspects that make each person unique, which can birth new challenges or a disconnect from other relationships, people, and social groups.

Codependent relationships also often have little to no personal boundaries in place. This can further the lack of privacy but also individuality. Not only can boundaries at home be compromised but codependent relationships can also affect how a person may engage in social functions, with these relationships then affecting other areas of social life. 

Low self-esteem is also common as individuals define themselves not by their accomplishments, goals, or identity but solely by their ability to tend to their partner’s needs. This can bring difficult feelings of anxiety and depression, or a compromised sense of self-worth, as they may feel unvalued outside of what they can bring to the relationship. 

It is also common that pervasive feelings of anxiety can become common as an individual constantly worries about their role in the relationship and the health of the relationship overall, despite the cost to their personal health. 

Conflict and confrontation can be extraordinarily difficult to navigate for those in a codependent relationship. Not only can confronting another about personal needs or wrongs be incredibly difficult but the unequal power balance between people in the relationship can make honest conversation tricky. Rather, continued sacrifice for the sake of the relationship or to prevent perceived negative reactions to confrontation is more common, leaving these issues unresolved and unaddressed and furthering their detrimental impact. 

Addressing the effects of a codependent relationship is complicated. For some, attending couples treatment programs can help identify and address many of the symptoms. However, others may begin their healing journey to address the lasting effects of a codependent relationship after these relationships have ended. 

Professional treatment like Hawaii Island Recovery’s Hawaii rehabilitation programs to address feelings of anxiety, depression, trauma, and more is paramount, especially if an individual is still coping with the lasting effects of a codependent relationship, such as compromised self-worth, difficulty maintaining boundaries, or exploring their identity. Developing effective communication strategies can empower those in these relationships or who are preparing for their next relationship to better identify potential warning signs of codependency, advocate for personal needs, and establish boundaries for the health of both people. 

Codependent relationships are complicated, and they can be difficult to heal from. Breaking out of these kinds of relationships and rebuilding a sense of identity and healthy coping strategies takes time. At Hawaii Island Recovery, our unique Hawaii rehabilitation blends personal needs with proven practices, not only exploring new ways to address anxiety, depression, and any unhealthy coping strategies that may have developed as a result but also exploring social needs, opportunities for personal identity exploration, and spiritual healing options for each person to create a holistic approach to change. To learn more about the effects of codependency, or to speak to a staff member about your unique situation and needs, call us today at (866) 390-5070.