Dr. Tian Dayton of the National Association for Children of Alcoholics (NACOA) offers insight on…
5 Things Family Members Get Terribly Wrong About Drug Addiction
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Until you accept these five wrong ideas about the drug addict you can never help him or her the way you should. Check whether or not you are guilty of these five biggest mistakes families of drug addict usually make.
Family members can be terribly wrong about drug addict
It’s your job to snatch them out of addiction and…
As much as you care about your loved one and you want to do everything to shield them from pain, you cannot bail them out every time. It’s like taking the stab he’s about to receive from an enemy only to find out later he will be looking for a dagger to stab himself. Most parents raise their kids with full ideas of how they would turn out in the future. They expect a junior or a little princess who would take up a corporate ladder or continue the family transitions, etcetera. That’s not all! You may expect them to give you the diploma you can hang on the wall and don’t forget the little minions you dream to cuddle when you grow old.
But here’s the hard truth: the little boy on a Superman costume who used to hang on your shoulders may want to dive on drugs more than he want to pull their acts together. That little princess of yours sees the drugs as her prince charming. And, it’s not your fault. It’s not something you do that made them an addict, although you may have done things that hurt them in the past. Taking the consequences for their actions is called, ‘enabling’ or allowing them to wallow into drug addiction because they don’t have to face the negative outcomes.
I can fix this because…
Have you ever said, “If he won’t do it for himself he will do it for me. After all, I know he loves me?” Here’s the bad news-they can’t! Most addicts hate their habits but they always run back to it. They crave for the drug that caused them pain, ruin their relationships, deplete their bank accounts, and get them in jail and all. It’s not you who can fix them. It’s them.
An addict needs to stop by making a decision to stop, by recognizing they need help and by getting that help and going through the process. It’s not an easy decision, but without the personal desire to quit, no one can do it for them. Yes, not even you.
Other people are so judgmental. Why can’t they…
You cannot force other people to accept your addicted loved one. Some people, even your nearest relatives don’t wish to be dragged into the mess the addict has got himself or herself into. If he wronged them, it’s their right to be cautious. It is their choice, respect it.
My loved one is not and never will be a criminal
Drug addiction starts with a single drug dose until they keep on coming back for more till they lose control. So, as much as they want to be the perfect son or daughter, a big brother, ideal sister, loving husband, doting wife, perfect mother and all, they can’t do that anymore! What’s worst, paying for their bail, hiring the best lawyer to make excuses for their wrong acts, settling the damage, ranting on the police officer who took them or hurling bad words at the judge are acts of enabling-a wrong move that pushes them deeper into addiction.
I’ll wait till they hit rock bottom so I can…
You may call it patience, but waiting till they hit rock bottom so you can drag them into the rehab may be fatal. For all you know, it could be a suicide or overdose and it might be too late to act. If it’s hard to convince them to give up drugs and seek help when the addiction is mild, how can you expect them to seek help when they’re into drugs so deep that they don’t care what happens anymore?
If there’s a time to take them into the right rehab, it is now.
Hawaii Island Recovery is a place where recovering addicts nurture their motivation to quit drugs and move on to a brighter, more peaceful and successful life without drugs. Most people come here with little to zero motivation to change but they end up getting sober for good and staying in the treatment facility to inspire others with their recovery. It’s not wrong to care so much for an addict in your family; it’s a natural instinct. But you will do a better job if you can send them to a facility that will look after their best interest, help them face their issues and teach them positive coping skills and stress-reduction techniques. We do it here and we offer more treatment options. Plus, you enjoy the perks of staying in a paradise island and swimming with wild dolphins at Hawaii Island Recovery.
Call us at (866) 491-8009 so we can help you in convincing your loved one to get individualized treatment.