I Found My Spouse Hiding Alcohol: What’s Next?

Finding a spouse’s alcohol hidden throughout the house can bring many intense and difficult emotions. This situation can be quite fragile, as many may want to confront their spouse about such discoveries immediately upon the revelation. Therefore, it is a situation that should be handled with care. Knowing what to do after finding hidden alcohol and educating oneself on how to navigate the situation is crucial for effectively helping loved ones overcome their use of alcohol and pursue treatment for a healthier, sober life. 

Finding hidden alcohol is a difficult situation, and each person will react to the discovery differently. It is common for spouses of those with alcohol use disorder (AUD) to already be suspicious or cognizant of the destructive use of alcohol taking place. Spouses may have already identified some symptoms of unhealthy alcohol use or addiction, for example:

Nonetheless, discovering hidden alcohol is a cause for action. Ignoring such a discovery can only allow the situation to further develop, causing actively detrimental effects on the relationship between oneself and their spouse in addition to mental, physical, and emotional health ramifications. Taking educated action is necessary to not only address the situation but also situate oneself as a support, ready to help their spouse through the trials of addiction recovery.

Finding a spouse’s hidden alcohol is emotionally turbulent. It can feel like a betrayal of trust if there have already been conversations about a spouse’s use in the past. Feelings of anger and resentment are common, especially if one’s spouse has already experienced negative consequences of their use, either in personal costs, damage to the relationship, or costs to their professional life or finances. Coupled with all of this can surface intense feelings of sadness or helplessness. 

Any number of swirling emotions can be prevalent. Further, it is common to want to jump in and confront a spouse immediately. However, conducting this conversation while in such an emotionally-charged mindset has its risks. An individual may say things they don’t mean while experiencing anger. Others may approach the conversation with accusations, blame, and more. Taking a deep breath, collecting oneself, and taking a moment to relax are necessary measures to consider to approach the conversation with the best intentions and strategies possible. 

Knowing the signs and symptoms of AUD is crucial before opening a conversation about its effects. Additionally, this knowledge can empower spouses to more accurately prepare for the challenges ahead. Recognizing signs of addiction and identifying times when a spouse seems to exhibit these signs can help gather evidence to convince a loved one of the need for change. 

This education can also be used to rehearse how to best approach the topic with a spouse. Knowing both the effects of AUD and how loved ones may react to being confronted about their use is important for creating a plan. Lying can be common. However, it is also possible that spouses may feel great guilt about their use themselves but feel compelled to reengage anyway. Preparing for these possibilities is necessary to create a healthy and supportive approach to sobriety. 

Lastly, educating oneself also means familiarizing oneself with dedicated treatment programs and the therapies and approaches offered. Doing research about effective treatment programs and locations and being ready to introduce them as necessary can help spouses understand their need for change. Additionally, it can provide them with available options to empower them to make their own decisions regarding treatment and recovery.

After finding a spouse’s hidden alcohol, preparing oneself emotionally, and becoming educated, opening a dialogue about a spouse’s alcohol use is necessary. Choosing a neutral space and a time when the conversation cannot be rushed or cut short can promote the best opportunity to address the topic. 

However, it is also paramount to allow a spouse to talk about their side of the story, experiences, and feelings regarding the situation. Approaching a spouse with the intent to lecture or otherwise force them to pursue treatment can breed resentment and resistance to the recovery process. Those overcoming AUD can best utilize professional recovery if they are doing it willingly for themselves. 

While lying can be common, and spouses may attempt to lighten the subject or otherwise change the subject altogether, keeping questions simple and focused can help. Using evidence rather than accusations to address lies can force a spouse to confront the true extent of their use and its effects rather than engage in argumentative speculation or assumptions. Giving spouses a chance to be part of their own recovery is necessary as well, such as allowing them to reveal any other hidden alcohol or divulge other past-used hiding spots. These measures are necessary before searching their personal space oneself. 

This discussion is just the beginning of a long journey through detox or inpatient alcohol treatment. How each person navigates this time can situate them as a support in recovery rather than a hurdle to continued use. Reaching a point of understanding and a plan of action after finding a spouse hiding alcohol is the first step toward genuine, profound change.

Finding hidden alcohol can create a very emotional and delicate situation. Hawaii Island Recovery is here to help you and your spouse find the best approach to a healthy and sober future. We offer an array of dedicated programs to help those overcoming alcohol use disorder (AUD) find new passions and strategies to challenge their use of alcohol through effective inpatient alcohol treatment. We also champion the opportunity to work with entire families, creating a holistic approach to education and recovery while repairing these important relationships. Addiction is a familial disease, and overcoming the effects of alcohol is complicated but always possible. To learn more about how we can help you and your spouse, call us today at (866) 390-5070.